So, go. Go-go!
Yes, you read that right: Sharktopus Versus Pteracuda, a love story involving two genetically bred monsters who... well, go read my review on Sci-Fi & Scary if you want to know the rest. No-no, really, go read it. I swear it's entertaining. I snark a lot. I mean, A LOT.
So, go. Go-go!
So, I'm making up for my overly long Bad Movie Review hiatus by offering up a double-whammy of awfulness this month. My latest piece de resistance? Oh, nothing special. Just a low budget SyFy original called Ice Road Terror was that was FREAKING AMAZING!
Seriously! This movie was cheaply made, super cheesy and included a random sampling of supporting actors from Battlestar Galactica. In short, it was terrible. AND I LOVE IT!
By now you know the drill: Hit the pic below for the full text of my love-fest review, then go watch this crap-a-doodle-doo and let me know what you think!
I know, I know, I know--it's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. I'm terrible--I KNOW! That said, I'm back! And I've got yet another bad, bad, lusciously and deliciously bad movie review to share. This time I went with a classic I'm guessing most of you are familiar with: Tremors, starring that most Footloose of Fakin' Bacons, Kevin Bacon.
Interested? Just click the pic below and you'll be instantly transported to the magic land of words and swearing wherein I spill my unfiltered thoughts, feelings and opinions on this Hercules of Bad Moviedom.
Ready, set, snark!
I'll admit up front that this one is long overdue. Work happened, life happened, and, well... I think you've all been there. But I'm back now with some entertainment (by which I mean snark and ranting, of course) and in honor of the new Castle Rock show which I haven't actually seen yet but am simply dying to sample, I decided to watch a Stephen King flick.
That's why I chose Maximum Overdrive.
Haven't seen it? Well, you're in for a... I was gonna say 'treat' but I'm not sure that's quite the right word. It's more of a...a...aw, forget it. Go read my review, you'll see what I mean. Hit the pick below to access the full write-up on SciFiAndScary.
By now you know the drill: I watch a bad-good movie (which sometimes ends up being bad-bad and not good at all), I lay down some snarky observations, you read it and we're all entertained.
Well, I know I'm entertained. I'm just assuming you are as well because otherwise, why are you coming back here?
Anyway, my latest installment is a classic sci-fi flick from the 1970s starring James Caan. Yup, that's right: the same James Caan that was in The Godfather, only this time he's on rollerskates.
Intrigued? You should be! Want to read more! Then get down with your bad self and click the pic below to read my full review in all its snarky goodness..
So, I was struggling this month, trying to figure out what movie to review. I mean, there are so many bad-good (and bad-bad, and really, really bad-bad) movies out there to choose from, but I just couldn't find one that felt right.
And then the SyFy Channel stepped in and saved the day. By which I mean screwed me over royally by tricking me into watching a crap fest of a movie!
Ahem. But I digress.
Thanks to the marvelous Lilyn G. at SciFiAndScary, who (for unknown reasons) not only puts up with my snarky babbling about bad movies but actually encourages it, I'm back with another Bad Movie Review. So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dam Sharks! (their punctuation, not mine). Interested? My god, you are, aren't you? What is wrong with you? Can't you see this is going to be horrible? Shouldn't you be running away?
No? You're staying? *sigh* Fine. Click on the picture below to read my review. But don't say I didn't warn you...
It's hard to believe, but Serengeti released two years ago this month. Two years! How is that possible? It feels like I was just telling you about this book and now here it is, a publishing toddler. I felt like I needed to commemorate this milestone, especially now that, with the release of Hecate, the Serengeti trilogy is finally complete. And how, you ask? Well, what better way to celebrate with a little music. A song or two (or twelve) to form the soundtrack to Serengeti.
I've actually had this idea kicking around in my head for a while, partly because I like to listen to music while I write, and partly because, like most authors I know, I have this silly dream that someday someone will make Serengeti into a big budget film. I mean, who wouldn't want their words and ideas translated into a glorious moving picture? But to have a movie, you need a soundtrack--one that captures the essence of the story and the feel of individual scenes. Well, I've mapped out my soundtrack, which includes a bunch of my personal favorites. Some songs you've probably heard of and some you probably haven't. Either way, have a listen. Sit back and enjoy.
Army of Me - Bjork
Scene: Kickoff of opening battle
Starlight Run - Hands in the Sky
Scene: Meridian Alliance retreat, right before Serengeti jumps to hyperspace
House of Cards - Radiohead
Scene: Henricksen and Finlay making for the lifeboat
New Light of Tomorrow - Husky Rescue
Scene: Slow pan through Serengeti’s wrecked body while she sleeps
Happiness - Grant Lee Buffalo
Scene: Engineering with its burnt out robots
Dancehall Places - Mint Royale
Scene: Tig and Tilli working around the ship
Sorrow -The National
Scene: Serengeti looking inside the lifeboat
Die Young - Sylvan Esso
Scene: Firing the big gun to repel the scavengers
Mouthful of Diamonds - Phantogram
Scene: Serengeti touring the outside hull with Tig and Tilli
Agaetis Byrjun - Sigur Ros
Scene: Lifeboat setting off on its journey
Bleeding Heart Show - The New Pornographers
Scene: Valkyrie Arrival
Heroine - Sinead O’Connor
Scene: Closing credits
I know it's been a while, but I'm back with another Bad Movie Review! And since you guys seem to like to see me suffer (to date, Anaconda 3 is by far my most popular review) I watched another big 'ol piece 'o crap, just for you. It's called Whiteout and it stars Kate Beckinsale as a US Marshal trying to solve a murder in Antarctica. Sounds great on the surface, right? Yeah, it's not.
Hit the screen cap below to review the full review! Many thanks to Lilyn G. at SciFiAndScary for once again letting me clogging up her wonderful blog with my snarky rantings about these movies.
With 2017 just about in the can, I figured it was time for some retrospection--in this case, a look back on the happenings (and not-quite-happenings) as it relates to my writing career. 2017 wasn't the worst year for me, nor the best either, more of a mixed bag of 'Yay, I did a thing!' followed by 'Ugh, I'm getting nowhere'. A few opportunities appeared in November and December, though, that leave me hopefully that 2018 will be The Year of a Really Big Thing! or, at least more encouraging than 2017 turned out.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
First, a few data points about the good, the bad, and the...well, not ugly but less-than-thrilling highlights of my 2017 writing career. Because I like to end on a high note, I'm going to run through the Debbie Downer stuff first to get that out of the way.
The Bad & Not-So-Thrilling
In June, our mischievous little cat, Ludo, pounced across the Rainbow Bridge to chase mice and bask in the always-warm sunshine of Kitty Heaven. That's him in the pic below, looking cute as always. Ludo was a sweet cat and mischievous, even for a feline. At times he could be annoying, at others entertaining, but what cat isn't--to share a home with a cat (or three in our case, luckily Oliver and Blink are both doing well) is to be annoyed and entertained at all hours of the day or night...usually when you're trying to sleep, because that's when cats universally decide to party.
RIP Ludo (AKA, Mugsy, AKA Busy Feet, AKA, Pants). We miss you terribly and will love you forever. *sniffle-sniffle*
Alright, so that cat detour wasn't exactly directly related to writing, but I spend a lot of time tapping away at keys with a cat on my lap, or beside it, or sprawled out on a couch nearby, and losing Ludo after 15 years together was definitely a blow. The second blow--one I really wasn't expecting, one that caught me completely off guard--was when I lost my agent in October. After roughly two years of partnership, my agent unfortunately decided that he couldn't do anything more for me and my career, so that was the end of that. Now I'm back in the trenches doing the Sending Out Queries Rhumba.
Ouch. That hurts the old ego. Ah well, onward and upward as they say and no looking back. I'm a firm believer in a brighter future and that good things come from adversity and all that, which means it's time to transition to the 2017 good stuff.
The Good Stuff
First and foremost, I released a book! Hecate (the third book in the Serengeti series from Severed Press and a prequel to the original) stormed into the world in June (yes, the same month I lost little Mugsy) and so far has received good reviews. An audiobook version followed in October which also seems to be popular, leaving me feeling pretty darn good about the way the Serengeti series turned out.
Oh, and I also sold a short story called The Salt Debt to Luna Station Quarterly. If you're interested, you can read it here.
So, that's my publication news--not as much as I'd like, but a novel and short story I'm quite proud of. In between, I've been busy writing new books and short stories and ferreting out avenues for publication, and more recently, querying agents to represent me and my works. Nothing so far--a few partial requests and at least one full--but hopefully I'll be reporting back in 2018 with some news.
In the meantime, I'm laying down new words. I don't have an exact count for what I wrote in 2017 and I never know whether to include words edited as well as completed manuscript length, but here are the major projects I completed this year
(Note: I decided to not include words edited. This is a straight count of the length of each completed project):
Creepy/weird novella: 23,000
SF space opera novel: 115,000 (plus another 15,000 I wrote when a friend suggested I split the original into two books)
YA fantasy novel (partial): 66,000
Short stories: 21,000
Grand Total for 2017: 240,000 words written
Not bad overall, though certainly less than many of the other writers I know managed to lay down. If I add in all the Bad Movie Review blog posts I wrote for SciFiAndScary (a gig I conned site host Lilyn G into and thoroughly enjoy), I can probably add another 20,000 words to that tally because I do love to go on and on about the bad-bad movies that I love-love-love.
And speaking of SciFiAndScary, I'm proud to say Dark and Stars (Serengeti Book 2) was named one of 2017's Best Indie Novels by this seriously entertaining site.
*puffs up proud*
As to the rest of the year, well, as always, I met new and amazing writers, enjoyed a raft of good books, and shared the joy, tears, frustration and elation that is authordom with my lovely and loyal Inkblot writer friends.
*hugs all the Inkblots, loves them forever and ever*
So, that's 2017 in a nutshell. There were a few other hits and misses, and a near publication that spawned another opportunity that has yet to play out, so I'm looking ahead to 2018 and feeling delightfully hopeful after a stretch where I feared my writing career had stalled.
New year, new opportunities, right? 'Course I'm right. Now get out there and read a book!
J.B. Rockwell grew up reading fairy tales, folklore and mythology, as well as anything and everything about ancient cultures and their history, and never lost her taste for any of it. She currently lives in West Virginia with her husband and two cats, all of whom provide inspiration for her stories, whether they know it or not.